29 and never felt better

2 minute read

Some people around me is depressed about their thirties coming in very soon. As far as I can tell, getting older is fun. I think I always will be a kid in my rest of my life and I always was. Getting older for me only means there is one more candle on my birthday cake. In meantime, I get more experience. During the last few years, I’ve come to realise that I’m better at communicating with people, I’m much more mentally stable, It’s easier to focus on something. Whatever it is. I just have to want to do something and I will not give up until I know how to do it and got the power to do it. I can do my hobby until 2 am and after a few hours of sleep, I can still function perfectly next day without anybody noticing about it. I know when people lies, know their emotions, tricks and secrets. I can read their face, some hidden mimic movements. I feel emotionally stable when somebody insults me. I feel sorry about them instead of anger.

Around 10 years ago I joined a traditionalist movement in Hungary and now I know this was the beginning. Some people just living their life, having fags, alcohol and drugs. Without caring their body, spirit or higher hierarchical meanings. But this is not life. Life is earning the limits of your mind and body, even your spiritual limits. Life is giving time and effort to make yourself whatever you wanted to be. And not being selfish, giving life to an other human. I’m doing my best at this. I believe the strongest meaning of a human life is the sustenance of it’s own race, then the maintenance of it’s own quality in the community. Joining this movement was a decision, but I decided so because I knew it will be good for me. I was always a black sheep. I was told I’m talentless, lazy and can’t communicate with people. I almost trust them. Instead of working on manifesting my dreams, I started to help my father painting cars after the school. That was an additional earning in pair with creating webpages during the night. But without the perspective of taking over the business after a while and I also worked for nuts. Ok, this is not true, a spray painter can earn the same, but doh. I spent too much time with this and the most expensive time is the wasted time. I could spend more time contracting to software developer companies instead or creating my own business. I slowly slipped away from cars.

Now I work as a software engineer full time, I love my job. I have confidence, no fear and I have never felt better. I can literally fly. No I’m not crazy, I can fly my paraglider.

I must smile about the well known wisdom saying when you start working life gets worse, hard to meet people and can’t do what you like to do. This is not wisdom, this is bullshit. The bad thing is, if I define myself as a duck, then I will be a duck. So stop being what you don’t want to be and be free!